Stranger Danger
"Another day, another chance to have a totally embarrassing interaction with a stranger"
The advice not to talk to strangers is usually intended to protect you from the strangers. With Robin Whetstone, it’s reversed. You never know what she’s going to say to someone for no good reason at all.
by Robin Whetstone
I was reading a book last night about haunted places in America, and it made me recall the time the kids and I went on a trip years ago to Tybee Island.
We were there at the old, historic lighthouse. I was looking around the grounds at the pristinely restored buildings from the early 1800s, and the beautiful lawn and flowers. "They have really done a great job restoring this historic site," I thought to myself. "Look, they even have people in historical dress wandering around." I looked at a small group of people standing by the entrance to the lighthouse. The women were dressed in ankle-length calico dresses with aprons, and lace caps on their heads. The men had long, bushy beards and sported overalls with chambray shirts. There were even a couple of kids in similar old-fashioned clothing.
My heart was full of thanks that the National Park Service had put so much time and care into the maintenance of this beautiful place. I complain loudly when something doesn't suit me, and so, to balance it out, I also make sure to loudly praise something when it makes me glad. "I'll do that now," I decided.
I walked confidently over to the old-fashioned group by the lighthouse. "I am so glad you folks are here," I told the group, "It really means a lot to me and my kids. The fact that this site has gone to the effort of having historical interpreters in period dress really enhances the whole experience. I appreciate you guys being here."
The group of eight or so people stared at me blankly. I could see them looking at each other out of the side of their eyes. A few of them looked sort of...hostile? Was that it?
"But you guys are Mennonites," I said, suddenly realizing.
"Yes," said one of the men. "From Indiana."
I was mortified. This was exactly something I would do. I searched my noggin for something to say. "Well, be careful in those skirts," I told the women, "those stairs are pretty steep."
I slunk off to my children, who knew exactly what was happening. They were standing there shaking their heads, even the 3-year-old. I looked back at the historical re… I mean, the Mennonites. They too were standing there shaking their heads. I was too embarrassed for the rest of the visit to really register with me. I'm sure it was lovely, though. People come from all over—as far as Indiana!—to see it.
***
This reminds me of another time I did something embarrassing. I was standing in a long line at the Golden Pantry, waiting for my biscuit. The line was not moving, and I was getting bored. I looked around for someone to strike up a conversation with to pass the time. The young man behind me was dressed all in camouflage. "Ah ha!" I thought, "This'll do!"
"Thank you for your service," I said to the man.
"Yes ma'am," said the man, nodding somberly.
Minutes later, I was pulling out of the parking lot and saw the man in the camouflage get into a truck with several other men in camo in it. There was a beagle and a Yeti cooler in the back, and a fully stocked gun rack in the truck. "You just thanked a deer hunter for his service," I realized. "And he said 'yes ma'am.' Maybe he just thinks I really hate deer."
"Another day, another chance to have a totally embarrassing interaction with a stranger." That is my motto.
Robin Whetstone is a Georgia-based writer who previously serialized her memoir about living in Moscow in the early ‘90s. As we’ve seen from her earlier contributions to The Experiment, she has a remarkable comic voice, but what makes her memoir unique how it retains that voice while describing the peril she finds herself in. You can find the first chapter here.
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