Roll Call Bracketology
Like the state roll call at the DNC? Miss March Madness? Well...
Jessie Daniels is a policy professional and writer based in New York. Daniels previously worked in the U.S. Senate as a national security legislative aide to Majority Leader Harry Reid. Daniels writes frequently on foreign policy and political issues. Her writing has been published in outlets including The Guardian, The Orlando Sentinel, and The San Francisco Chronicle. Today she makes her debut in The Experiment by seeding the states. If we can’t have March Madness, we can have Roll Call Bracketology.
by Jessie Daniels
Let's be honest, we had our doubts about how the Democratic Convention would turn out even before it went virtual. I mean, at one point back when we still knew what day it was and there were a gazillion candidates in the primaries, some people were even whispering about a brokered convention. But y'know what? It all worked out and turned out to be pretty damn good. And the surprise star of the show? The “Roll Call Across America” vote.
Usually, roll call votes are all about people screaming on the floor of the convention hall. Some people have crazy hats, which provides a dose of originality, but it's generally kind of like a political tailgate. This montage, however, was a great showcase of the country, with the diversity of our people, our talents, and our legacies on full display. And since it was so good and there was no March Madness this year, the next step was to start seeding them for the next tournament. So, here we go, folks:
East
#1 New York
Broadway may be closed, but these healthcare workers know "It's Joe-time." They bring a confidence to the court that shows there's no quit in New York.
#2 North Carolina
Long-time organizer leads a team ready to go get out the vote. Sound familiar? Carolina teams with an experienced point guard leading the fast break tend to win championships, so expect this 2 seed to go far.
#3 Georgia
This 3 seed is ready to get into good trouble, and they will fight to protect the ball just like they will to protect the vote.
#4 New Jersey
Combine those old Princeton teams that knew how to take a charge and a Chumbawamba song and you get The Jers: they get knocked down, but they get up again -- and they care about the fundamentals. Don't think they're a one-hit wonder.
#5 Rhode Island
The Ocean State is now everyone's Cinderella after the now-legendary "calamari comeback", and they seemed poised for even more comebacks in the tournament. Added bonus: superfans dressed as fried squid.
#6 Maryland
A young team, but don't let this 6 seed fool you. These kids are alright, they know their history, and they're ready to make the most of the opportunity.
#7 Pennsylvania
People may scoff at this 7 seed's old-school play like it's 1950s Scranton. But who regularly shows up to the polls for the election? Yup. The oldsters.
#8 Maine
You thought you knew Maine, but it's more than lobsters and the cloying disappointment of Susan Collins. This team knows what it wants and it might just be the surprise of the tournament -- and your American dream team.
#9 Vermont
A bunch of rule followers standing six-feet apart or gritty zone defense? They may want to give you free healthcare and college tuition, but they're stingy on points.
#10 West Virginia
They changed the narrative about public education. Expect this 10 seed to be just as active as they change the narrative on the court.
#11 Connecticut
If this 11 seed extinguishes their opponent's offense production the way their firemen put out fires, they can get out of the early rounds. But the refs also need to protect them from flagrant fouls.
#12 Massachusetts
Did Massachusetts sound like it was filming in the middle of a wind tunnel? Maybe. But maybe they're also a team that can also handle the many distractions of a tournament.
#13 New Hampshire
Yes, they have a showy point guard who came as close to recreating the Hillary-Doing-The-Macarena moment as we saw in 2020. Backed by a staunch defense, though, this 13 seed knows how to live free, but it also doesn't want you to die in the pandemic.
#14 Democrats Abroad
This 16 seed has been playing outside the country, but might have the ability to cause an upset or two along the way.
South
#1 Alabama
They've crossed a bridge, but can they get to the Promised Land? The Yellowhammer state has unfinished business and is galvanized to make a deep run in a strong bracket --if it can live up to its potential.
#2 Florida
No fun in the sun here. This team has faced adversity during the season and are fearless and tough. Expect this 2 seed to drive change – and to the basket.
#3 Mississippi
The Stars and Bars on the state flag are finally gone and this 3 seed is ready to Tougaloo. Imagine what an impact they can have in the tournament.
#4 Arkansas
Like the 1994 champion Razorbacks, this 4 seed full of food truck owners comes through in the clutch -- this time with food for the hungry. They also have the grit to make it through a tough bracket to the Final Four.
#5 Louisiana
Less flair than Alabama and Mississippi, but this 5 seed has been revived like an abandoned hub turned into an art studio and might be the surprise coming out of the South region.
#6 Tennessee
Tennessee brings a lot of woo girl enthusiasm to the tournament, which may lead you to think they just came to party. But these ladies know who (should) rule the world: girls.
#7 Virginia
Don't let the "Virginia is for Lovers" slogan fool you: to paraphrase Whitesnake, Virginia saw there ain't no love in the heart of the city (of Charlottesville). So in this tournament, they'll fight for the soul of this country and play like their lives depend on it.
#8 Kentucky
This team always had the poise, but were plagued by injuries. Now they have health care and are ready to go in the tournament.
#9 District of Columbia
This mid-major can play with the big boys, and they demand to be represented in the Power Five, especially since they get taxed by them. This team has upset special written on it.
#10 South Carolina
They can't secede from this tough bracket, so this 10 seed harkens back to its legacy supporting the nation as they look to make another mark on the court.
#11 Delaware
Will they pass on the tournament? This 11 seed is mercurial, but could also come back at the end to be the last team standing.
#12 Puerto Rico
This 12 seed legit gets no respect -- even from the President, who doesn’t even know it's a team and throws paper towels at them. Will it gain respect in the tournament?
#13 US Virgin Islands
It’s where Hamilton was raised, but will this 13 seed be a hit come game time? Unclear, but they'll be a fun team to watch.
#14 American Samoa
This 14 seed enters the tournament with a broad offensive playbook, but will some of their players showing up to the game in uniform threaten their eligibility?
Midwest
#1 Ohio
Maybe they only impressed the committee because they blatantly disregarded the DNC's three acceptable hand positions (the buckler; the quick draw; and the Christmas caroler) recommended during vote casting. This hand rebel don't care -- it plays its game. But does OH-IO translate into W-I-N?
#2 Missouri
Led by a bricklayer, this 2 seed sticks together like a union to demand a higher level of play and are determined to get to the apex of the arch of victory.
#3 Oklahoma
Past and present, haters gonna hate. But this 3 seed doesn't give a f**k. They've resolved to win. United, they will.
#4 Nebraska
They know they're essential, but they’re tired of people treating them like they’re expendable. Their opponents will see just how much difference they make on the court.
#5 Illinois
Will they protect this house? As long as the refs make the necessary fair housing calls, they will. And they'll build up a wealth of wins along the way.
#6 Minnesota
This 6 seed will be hoping the bridge between Minneapolis and St. Paul doesn't fall down again. But if it's ever actually #infrastructureweek, this team could be built back better to make a deep run.
#7 Michigan
This 7 seed -- a little-Fab Five, a little Spike Albrecht -- was revived during the season when they were thought to be out of contention. Now they bring that industrious spirit to the tournament.
#8 Indiana
No more volatile temper tantrums a la the Bobby Knight-days. This 8 seed is reimagining what it means to be a Hoosier, with High Hopes (but hopefully not Panic at the Disco) for the tournament.
#9 South Dakota
This 14 seed, though overlooked at times during the season, has been unbeatable in the Black Hills. Can they take this show on the road? You betcha.
#10 Iowa
They were all ready to fuel the future. Then came Derecho. But everyone loves a comeback story. Can this 10 seed write another one?
#11 Wisconsin
The home team here has faced challenges, but they'll fall back on their progressive past to progress through the tourney.
#12 North Dakota
This 12 seed had a unique journey to the tourney. Now they’re determined to use it as a ladder to the championship.
#13 Kansas
A fourth generation family farmer leads this team -- which has been depleted by prize recruits going to play out of state -- and is determined to bring back the glory.
#14 Montana
Total freaking wildcard. Few people have seen them play. Because no wifi. They could be out in the first round...or totally break your brackets.
West
#1 California
The 1 seed in the West may seem like beach bums, but they carry out their goals in unison and come into the tournament totally in sync.
#2 Texas
Is this the year Texas goes to the Final Four? This 2 seed has suffered violence on the court and seen the refs do nothing about it. Though it chooses love, it's also tired of this shit. Don't doubt its resolve this time around.
#3 Arizona
Featuring a jack-of-all-trades at the point, listen to the experts like they do: it’s a safe pick to go deep in the tournament.
#4 Utah
Rule them out at your own risk. Though this team isn’t flashy, they know how to do vote-by-mail and have seen voter turnout rise. Expect them to turn up as well.
#5 Wyoming
They know what commitment looks like and they bring a ton of it to the court, making this a tough team to handle.
#6 Nevada
No showgirls or grown men playing with tigers on this current team, just working people determined to reap the benefits of their play.
#7 Idaho
Though they didn't get the DNC memo on acceptable hand positions because Trump held up their mail, they're super excited to be in the big dance and may pull off a Round 1 upset.
#8 Colorado
This 8 seed has shown resilience even when their leaders let them down. Now they're adapting as best they can to make a run in the tourney.
#9 Oregon
This 9 seed shows that diversity is more than just twenty different uniform combinations, but it may be their togetherness as a team that gets them through the rough stretches of the tournament.
#10 New Mexico
This 10 seed is tribal in their defense of the ball and their offense is difficult to defend because they protect their space. If they're on their game, expect some upsets.
#11 Hawaii
This 11 seed is a rag-tag bunch that speaks to everyone, but with a calm air on the court that could work wonders as the tournament gets crazier.
#12 Alaska
This team knows that the climate is integral to the way they play. In this tournament, they’ll insist that they will have a say to control it.
#13 Washington
They got here because of education. Will they school the rest of the tournament field?
#14 Guam
First team to play in the tournament as America's day starts here. Will they also be the first team out?
Shoutout to the Northern Mariana Islands, who can't play but will bring the best fans.
What do you think of today's email? I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback. I might even put ‘em in the newsletter if I don’t steal it outright.
Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Unless of course you were forwarded this email, in which case you should…
Want a way to send gifts and support local restaurants? Goldbelly’s got you hooked up.
I used this to order scotch delivered right to my door. Recommend.
I’ve lost 35 pounds this year with Noom, and haven’t had to cut out any foods. Noom is an app that uses psychology, calorie counting, and measuring activity to change your behavior and the way you think about food. I’m stronger and healthier than I’ve been in years. Click on the blue box to get 20% off.
If this newsletter is of some value to you, consider donating. Honestly, I’m not doing this for the money. I’m writing this newsletter for myself, and for you. And a lot of you are contributing with letters and by suggesting articles for me to post. But some of you have asked for a way to donate money, so I’m posting my Venmo and PayPal information here. I promise to waste every cent you give me on having fun, because writing this newsletter for you is some of the most fun I’ve had. Venmo me at @Jason-Stanford-1, or use this PayPal link.